I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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