6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
