Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize