these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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