I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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