Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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