my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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