My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I have tasted many bathrooms
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
