Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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