kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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