i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize