yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
