i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
