And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
