it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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