This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize