yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I believe in your delicious
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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