Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
