Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
