I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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