Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
