ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
