No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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