I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
