You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
