Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
