your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize