Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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