i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
