Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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