Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
