if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
