I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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