and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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