I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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