Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
