Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
