Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
