I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Houston, we have a squirter
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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