I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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