Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
How does one acquire holy water?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
