She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
