Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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