drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
