dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think my tv is drunk
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
