At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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