Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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