Im at strip club and am horny
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Randomize