I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Success! We fucked roommates!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
