can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All the doctor said was why
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
