I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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