god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
