hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
