We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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