so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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