No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
