i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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