bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
