AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
