Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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