I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We are all done wearing pants today
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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