I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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