this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I am spending my child support on dildos
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
