six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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