I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
