help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
