OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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